he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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