Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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