there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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