You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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