with your own penis?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she smelled like a LAN party
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
