Its about making memories worth repressing
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
