If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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