i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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