Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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