i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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