So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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