She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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