hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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