Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
