So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
