When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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