the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
