Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
