Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
