nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
