I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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