I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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