He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
