Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
