my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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