He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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