she woke up with a sticky ear
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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