1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
