Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
