You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
