I want to make a zoo with you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
