the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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