Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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