Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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