Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
