sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
