I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
