Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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