So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she looked like the before picture.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
