it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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