dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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