Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
love makes seman taste better
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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