So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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