I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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