I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This is my gift to your gina
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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