I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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