You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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