You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
