Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
