i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
