I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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