You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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