I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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