Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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