There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
