I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
