if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize