My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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