Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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