ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize