Dual....:-)
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
