I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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