I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
