After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am midnight drunk by noon
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
