Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize